Comments: I must say that all children are cumbersome to handle more or less. We, as parents, give such a big energy for them. However, while we are in struggle in child-rearing matters, we feel the feedback coming from them....in return, we feel a deep love and preparedness for them. No matter how and where we are blessed with children, I think we go through the same process/duty for them.
Meantime, it looked like my father was living in the same area-Kumamoto, but I wasn't particularly obsessed that I wanted to see him. However, at age of 45, I somehow wanted to look into my family roots, so I visited my brother accompanied by my foster-mother. I didn't know his precise age, but it seemed we were 15 years apart, and he then said he was suffering from cancer. There were no change within me even at this occasion, but I felt nostalgic to see my old house still remained,where I spent my infancy..."Wow, I can't believe that's such a small house I lived in....that's where soldiers came in and out..."
I did neither have any intention to hide my status of being a foster-child, nor speak about it particularly. Recently, after one thing leading to another, I disclosed my status to others surrounding me, they were surprised to know it. Chances are happily given for foster-children when "parents-to-be who are crazy, desparate and dying for children" would take them.
Whether they are handicapped or not, or hard to bring up, I mean the people who are determined to challenge for raising children. And they ought not to handle them as special. If parents get too sympathetic or reserved about their children....if I dare to be picky, they are not qualified. I would like them overcome every difficulty.
Before my foster-mother died, she accommodated herself into a specialized care home as she couldn't take care of herself. I went there everyday to take care of her. She said "I'm so refleshed" after I wiped her body. People surrounding my mother in the same home were envious for her since they didn't expect their visitors everyday like I did. So, I believe. I'm happy I could enjoy some kind of devotion to my parent.